Walk With Me Until The Rain Dries Up..

Do you ever feel like this?

Like no matter how much you smile and assure people you're all right, you really aren't?

No matter how hard you try to look like you are holding it all together those tears still seem to manage to creep up on you.

No matter how many friends tell you "I'm here for you" you're still going to feel alone. You could get all the help in the world and you still wouldn't feel like you were "okay". But maybe that's because "okay" has been defined wrongly? Does everyone have to be happy to be okay? 

Sometimes I wish that when I was asked how I was instead of lying and saying "I'm fine" I would open up and try and explain what's going on in my mind. 

But then again that would take energy, and I don't seem to have a countless stash of that these days. I have a good family and great friends who are always there to listen when I need them to, but the problem is, I don't WANT to open up. Sometimes I enjoy feeling crazy, but sometimes it's all too much.

Is it normal to feel like there are two people in your one body?

Is it normal that instead of hearing my own voice in my head I hear a London accent?

Is it crazy that sometimes my head feels like candy floss?

Is it weird to be in love with an imaginary character? Or your best friend?

Is it okay to sometimes feel like you could explode?

Is it bad to forget reality and slip into an imaginary world to avoid your own thoughts?

Why are there so many questions I can't answer?

Am I mad?

Is this normal?

Sometimes I love my messed up mind but sometimes I hate it.

I'm terrified of getting old but can't bear to be young for much longer.

I have so many ambitions but sometimes just getting out of bed seems like a great achievement.

I get so anxious that I'll be over come by nausea.

I feel like I can't be a teenager because I'm too uptight about things like timing and trust.

I trust too easily and don't know what to do when that trust is broken.

Sometimes I drift so far off into an imaginary world I'll miss a whole lesson, or forget what I'm doing.

I wish I knew what was going to happen in the future because at the moment I don't like human beings.

I wish someone would take my hand and walk with me until the rain dries up, and then everything would be okay.