My Summer Wishlist.

So it's summer now, finally! But I've realised I'm totally lacking in summer clothing, summer make up and summer jewellery, WHAT?

I know, it's crazy, but I've been saving for my trip to London.

This is my summer wish list 2013.

Clothes:

Topshop

Olive and Frank

The Little Deer

Topshop

The Little Deer

Accessories:

Kukee

Punky Pins

Lucie Ellen

Beauty:

Nails Inc

The Little Deer

If you're reading this, don't bother asking me about it. I won't explain it to you..

"It's just a drop in the ocean, 

a change in the weather,

 I was praying that you and me might end up together. 

It's like wishing for rain while I stand in the desert, 

but I'm holding you closer than most,

 because you are my heaven."

Ron Pope.

Probably not written about him falling for his straight best friend, but you never know.

I do try to talk sense when I'm with you but it all comes out like crap, or I'll blurt out "I hate you" and grab your hand.

It's just I don't really know how to act around you any more.

"Are you going to get to the point Molly?"

Erm I'm not sure, I don't know if I want to put it into words, because it sounds mushy.

Why do you have to be so confusing? Why do I have to be so confused?

You're so willing to hold my hand, kiss me, pretend I'm your boyfriend, but what you don't get is, there are feelings there for me.

FEELINGS?! Cold hearted Molly has feelings?!
Yes. She does.

It's not like they get her anywhere though is it, feelings for a heterosexual girl.

I just want to hug you and kiss you and call you baby.

"But you do that all ready"

Well I want it to mean something.

"Drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain,

kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain,

because I've seen sparks fly every time you smile."

Yes Taylor, I couldn't have put it better myself.
Would it be weird if I told you how I felt about you? It's not like you haven't realised.
But if I told you PROPERLY, would that be stupid?
Is there any point? It's not like it would change anything. Nothing I do will change anything.

"So why are you writing this Molly?"
I DON'T KNOW, OK? STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS.

I don't know if I should post this, because she'll read it and know it's about her...

Hmmm being a teenager, fun isn't it.

Well, here goes nothing, three two one 'PUBLISH'

I don't try to stand out, I just deliberately don't fit in..

I don't really know how to start this post in a creative or witty way, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to be boring. I've decided to give you all a little insight on my style icons. (almost dies of the extreme boredom radiating from that sentence)

Leah Mcfall

Leah Mcfall, an Irish YouTube singer come fashion student come "The Voice" star, definitely has her own style. She once described herself as "An Irish singer who looks like a Furby and dresses like your grandpa." and I couldn't have worded it better myself! Her fashion sense is chillingly chic with a street edge, and trying to recreate it would be almost impossible because so many of her items of clothing are vintage, but that's not to say we can't be inspired! Leah's fashion sense totally reflects her personality, she is bubbly and bright and this really shows in her clothing. She says that she doesn't mind being outrageous when it comes to clothes because she would like to have something to look back on and go "God that was awful!!" but to be honest I doubt she'll be doing that because she's just so damn cool!

If you love Leah's style why not try it out for yourself?

Topshop

American Apparel

Topshop

Asos Marketplace

Vince Kidd

Another "The Voice" star up on my list, but believe me Vince is no usual BBC boy, no no, in fact he is so "unbbc" that I'm surprised he was even on "The Voice". Vince's style is far from boring, he even modelled for TopMan magazine, whether that was down to his style or his stunning looks or a bit of both I'm not sure. He is one of these people who look effortlessly amazing in thrift shop clothes and hand me downs. Many guys couldn't rock eye make up, piercing and gold jewellery, but Vince does, every day! 

Although he is a guy I take a lot of my fashspiration from Vince, he wears what he wants, when he wants and could rock a bin bag! And don't get me started on his tattoos, they are the definition of perfect!

Channel a little Kidd into your wardrobe!

Asos

Miss Guided

Jelly And Cream

Etsy

Shay Mitchell

I don't just have a style crush on Shay, I have a full on crush on her, and who wouldn't? She is perfect!

But we are talking about fashion here. Stay on track Molly.

Shay's style is just always so bang on trend, even her casual outfits have that crazy WOW factor to them.

Go stalk her blog and you'll know what I mean!

Become a mini Mitchell

Paper Doll at House of Fraser

TopShop

Walk With Me Until The Rain Dries Up..

Do you ever feel like this?

Like no matter how much you smile and assure people you're all right, you really aren't?

No matter how hard you try to look like you are holding it all together those tears still seem to manage to creep up on you.

No matter how many friends tell you "I'm here for you" you're still going to feel alone. You could get all the help in the world and you still wouldn't feel like you were "okay". But maybe that's because "okay" has been defined wrongly? Does everyone have to be happy to be okay? 

Sometimes I wish that when I was asked how I was instead of lying and saying "I'm fine" I would open up and try and explain what's going on in my mind. 

But then again that would take energy, and I don't seem to have a countless stash of that these days. I have a good family and great friends who are always there to listen when I need them to, but the problem is, I don't WANT to open up. Sometimes I enjoy feeling crazy, but sometimes it's all too much.

Is it normal to feel like there are two people in your one body?

Is it normal that instead of hearing my own voice in my head I hear a London accent?

Is it crazy that sometimes my head feels like candy floss?

Is it weird to be in love with an imaginary character? Or your best friend?

Is it okay to sometimes feel like you could explode?

Is it bad to forget reality and slip into an imaginary world to avoid your own thoughts?

Why are there so many questions I can't answer?

Am I mad?

Is this normal?

Sometimes I love my messed up mind but sometimes I hate it.

I'm terrified of getting old but can't bear to be young for much longer.

I have so many ambitions but sometimes just getting out of bed seems like a great achievement.

I get so anxious that I'll be over come by nausea.

I feel like I can't be a teenager because I'm too uptight about things like timing and trust.

I trust too easily and don't know what to do when that trust is broken.

Sometimes I drift so far off into an imaginary world I'll miss a whole lesson, or forget what I'm doing.

I wish I knew what was going to happen in the future because at the moment I don't like human beings.

I wish someone would take my hand and walk with me until the rain dries up, and then everything would be okay.

Roll Up, Roll Up!

Is it just me who finds everything about the circus completely awe inspiring?

Everything about a trip to the circus is completely magical, the sights, the smells, even the stewards who help you to your seat have this sort of magical aura about them. 

Me and my beautiful friends Rosa Bluebell and Eilidh are huge children when it comes to the circus, we couldn't help but squeal, squeak, giggle and yell at just about every act.

I have to say it was a brilliant night! They had everything from wooden women to trapeze artists, from footballers to jugglers. For the whole night my mouth was so far open it almost hit the ground, lady like I know, I was amazed at the utter skill and strength of all the people performing!

   

As soon as the interval began Rosa Bluebell, Eilidh and I rushed eagerly to the refreshments stall. A trip to the circus is NOT complete without candy floss! The problem with candy floss is it has this sort of glamorous air about it, it looks pretty and is great for photographs, but when it comes down to the actual eating of it, well that's a whole completely different story. I somehow managed to get sticky candy floss on my hair, fingers, eyebrows, eyelashes, arms, legs, face, new dress and just about any other body part you can think of!

The second half was jaw droppingly (I don't think that's even a word) amazing! The talent in the Moscow State Circus is completely unbelievable, and so inspiring! I swear if I had any of those talents I would be signing up to join a circus straight away!

 The end of the night came far too quickly! My pictures really don't capture the atmosphere, it was so magical I can't even explain it! It's fair to say it was a wonderful experience for everyone there. 

Finding Alice...

Okay so I'm always raving on about how stories are my thing, I guess it's time for me to start proving that. I'm going to start posting chapters of a story called "Finding Alice.", I haven't planned it out, it's about as fresh as you're going to get from me, I'm just going to let my mind run away and see what we get!
Oh and I do have a friend called Alice but this is in no way based on her, just thought I'd clear that up(:

Finding Alice: Chapter One, Part 1

"I fell in love once. Huh, using the word love at the age of fifteen, what has the world come to? But I did though, and it was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I fell so damn hard and so damn fast, if I'd hit the ground I probably would have smashed, but I didn't, she caught me. Didn't last long though, nothing ever does. "All good things come to an end" as Nelly Furtado said, she was right. Alice was the only good thing that ever happened to me, okay maybe that's a lie, but Alice was the best thing that ever happened to me. One minute I was a bored teen stuck in high school, the next I was having the time of my life with the girl of my dreams. Don't worry, it doesn't stay soppy for long, remember what I said, falling in love was the worst thing that ever happened to me.
It was a usual summer holiday Monday, I was sitting under Kessler Bridge with Zoe, Mitch, Jessie, Lola and Dan. The gang, my five best friends. We were talking school and aspirations whilst Zoe painted her toe nails a cutesy pastel pink, Jessie stalked Jamie's facebook on her new Iphone, swooning over all of his pictures, Mitch and Dan flicked through a Nuts magazine they had stolen from Mitch's dads' garage, I guess boys will be boys. And Lola and I thumb wrestled, I was winning 2:3 and was just about to score another point when something, or should I say someone, caught my eye. She was walking towards us on the little river path, a twisty track made by rabbits and drunken teenagers, she was tall, well taller than me anyway, from where I was I could see that she had soft mocha coloured skin, long wavy brown hair and huge caramel eyes. The long grasses and wild flowers must have been tickling her legs because she was wearing short red dungarees and Doc Martens, "Wow" I breathed.
"What are you looking at Grace?" Lola asked dropping my thumb, I was actually lost for words in the first time in my life so I just pointed towards the tall figure making her away along the path.
"AGGHH" Lola called "We're being stalked"
Oh no she'd got completely the wrong end of the stick. "Shhhh" I said, laughing hysterically at the boys shocked faces and wrestling a still yelling Lola to the ground.
It was too late though, the girl had heard us and was walking towards us giggling."

Would You?

You know the one thing I can't stand about being a teenager, the lack of adventure, the lack of freedom. Being young is great, to be honest I'm scared of growing up, but I'm hungry for bigger things than this small town.
Imagine this, if someone came up to you with a backpack and a one way ticket to your favorite city in the world, would you take it? What would you fill that bag with? Where would you go? Where would you stay?What would you do whilst you were away? Would you come back? COULD you come back?
Me, I'm forever full of worries and anxieties, I would worry the train would crash, or I would get stabbed, or my family would die whilst I was away. Why am I having deja vu whilst writing this? Because these are thoughts constantly running through my head, thoughts I can't seem to shake, I am a huge worrier. But that being said I also constantly worry about missing chances, so for that reason I probably would take the bag and the ticket and run.

I would probably stuff the backpack with music, a note book, pens and a camera and hop on the first train. I would obviously forget all the practicalities, classic Molly. Where would I be going? I have no idea. I guess most people can put their finger on a map and say "That is my favorite city." But I can't, for two reasons, first reason being I love cities, I love new people and new faces and new buildings and I'm an adventure addict so I can't pick a favorite! My second reason, a slightly more embarrassing one, I have no idea how to read maps! So either that ticket would be a world tour or a surprise!
Now no journey is complete without a sound track, and if I could only take one album it would have to be "Ashes" by Kyla La Grange. This woman is a freak of nature, how can someone have such a haunting voice? This album is beautiful and would definitely be my adventure sound track.

Imagine it, a complete unknown, unplanned adventure, on your own. Huge opportunities, but also huge risks. Would you grab it with both hands or run like it was the plague?